Novel writing is different than short story writing of which I have done plenty. Once I made a decision to write a novel and came up with an idea for the plot and characters, it is never easy to know where to take the story, until you arrive at the junction, so to say. I once saw a photo of Ernst Hemingway, sitting at his desk and running his fingers thru his beard and staring out a window as his pages sat on his desk, he had a look of being lost in deep thought and rapture all at once. I thought wow, what was he writing at that time, and what was he concentrating on so hard? It. left an impression on me as a kid, because I had heard and read some of his works. So, I looked him up and found his vices, his problems and all he worked thru to be known as a writer. Amazingly, I think he never fully found his happiness in life, just a little content in his writings, he never fully loved it all.Maybe that is why he died the way he did and why we lost a great storyteller the way we did. Peace for writers like Hemingway did not come easy and he definitely was a tortured soul in his own right. Yet, his descriptions and characters and stories live on well after he is gone, why because he bled his soul and heart onto each page and sentence he wrote and rewrote. No writer is perfect folks, and I have many favorites over my lifetime, Hemingway. Ludlum, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Dan Brown, and yes even Stephen King. Each one bleeds when they write in their own way and their own subjects come alive when they do. Amazing isn’t it?
I would never, compare myself to such greats for my use of the English language and my skills as a storyteller do not match any of the above-mentioned people. I just admire the hell out of each of them, for they had the patience, to stick to it. I only hope to get at least one novel written in my lifetime and sold. I know it may all be a pipe dream of mine, but, I would like to be known as an Author who at leat made one piece of work, that sold, enough copies for me to be remembered, is that too much to dream of?
As I grow older, I go back thru memories of my lifetime, the things I have lived thru, personally and in the world, the history, the life moments of personal abuse, and torture I felt growing up. The Loves I have lost or that didn’t work out, and the friends I have now and had back then. I stop and think of running the streets as a teen, walking to and from school with girls I believed were queens, the friend I drank with, and those I hunted and fished with, the adventure I had, and I wonder, which is the best to tell the world? But, lately, I am living with a nightmare of a dying wife, who is terminally ill with breast cancer that became bone cancer. Her pain, her suffering I watch each day as I hang on to her, not wanting her to die on me, I know it sounds selfish folks, but it’s now going on a quarter of a century since I found her and fell in love with her. She will always be the love of my life, who had the patience to put up with me, to teach me, make me go back to school and love me for me, not asking me to change at all. If you find a person like her, either male or female grab them, hold them and never let them go, for they love you for you and nothing else, even with all your faults.
I will say this to any child, or adult who lives and I attribute it to my step-father: “You can do anything in life you want to, as long as you put your mind to it and stick with it!” God Bless you Dad, you were right! So I stick with my writing as I did in serving my country for 16 years until injured on duty. And I worry not about my injuries, my pain, I push thru them, to stay with and care for the woman I love and believe in, my wife!.