Slowly I turn, and wham, it’s almost the end of Feb. 2017, hard to believe how fast time flies by! Soon we shall be two months into the year, and it seems like there was never any break, or slowing down. Each day seems like the last as time flies by, nothing changes anymore, with the exceptions of the political climate, the value of the dollar, and of course America’s standing in the world falls. President Donald Trump may like running an office they way he is in the White House, but the country was not made to be run in chaos.
Anyway, as I sit here this AM, I wonder whether writing is worth it to me frankly, than I say to myself, if for no other reason, I write for me and to get my stories out of my heart, out of my mind and off my chest, so yes I will write more, as to what it will be, well that is to be determined. I write on a basis of what subject hits me at a particular time is all. One time may be murder mysteries, of which I have now written many, another may be about a dying man or woman’s feelings, or about an old love affair or romance. I never know for sure what I may write and when, it all depends on how I feel at the time and how life goes around me. For it is the atmosphere of each day of life that determines what I may feel works as a subject.
I write differently each time, and experiment with styles also. I sometimes create poetry, which is based on real life experiences I have lived through. Many poems I did were based on relationships and women of course, that is what romance and sex is all about and sometimes it is needed to say, or said out of affection, or as a fond memory. But the point is, in the end it is all based on something in real life. I have never really tried doing a fantasy, or sci-fi story seriously and don’t think I ever could. So I don’t go where I don’t feel comfy or sure. Plus I find my writing is far from perfect, even using word perfect from Microsoft. Sad isn’t it!
Whats next, as a writer, father, grandfather and man, I have no idea, life changes each day I wake up, and I am now 61 and feeling it so to say. MY life has never been easy, and sometimes I wonder if I should end it and be done with this world. Then I am reminded, by attributing to it in someway I consider important or needed for my children, my grandchildren or a family member or friend. These things of course happen in life, and they motivate me to keep living, so here I be.
At this time I am not writing anything except this blog, as my mind wanders thru time and space and faces that have affected my life and way of living. As I think of my childhood, then teens and young adulthood and more, I wonder what can happen next? Don’t we all reflect this way or is it just me who stops in quiet times and goes thru this process, you all can tell me.
OK, enough meandering along I must move on to real life, which for me is these days cleaning house doing it all around the house, caring for my wife, who suffers from Bone Cancer that came from her breast cancer of many years ago. Anything I can do for her, I do, because she is the woman I love, care for and keep safe and will love forever. Period. Life comes alive when I take care of her, even if it is boring and takes from things I would love to do myself, it doesn’t matter anymore, for she is my world, even if she doesn’t notice it. Doctor runs, tests, scans, sitting in offices and hoping for the best for her, has become my life these days. I miss doing other things, but not as much as long as I am with her. If you ever want to see what I am talking about a wrote a short book about it all called Ms. Amazing’s Battle, and it can be found on my Amazon E-Book Page, right here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MT6GWXQ
For today, I shall bid you Adieu, as the french would say, and leave you with best wishes for your day.