Divorce is a killer, socially, mentally, stressfully and tension wise for both parents, no doubt about it. Women complain they have to go back to work to support themselves and the kids they got left with, well working is something you will have to do anyway, women, if you were alone without kids. Then, you want alimony and child support, that can get outrageous in the dollar signs for a man to give out, crazy folks. I know these things cause my first wife tried the tricks on me, to run me broke and bury me, when we divorced.
Men, when she says divorce, first thing to do, is record her saying so, get her on tape, asking for it. Second make sure any verbal threats against you by her, regarding your safety, your wallets safety, are recorded. That way you can, show the courts through the recordings what really happened and who is at fault.
In my case my ex-asked for the divorce gave no reason cause she was hiding her past, being abused by her father growing up. The sad thing is it had nothing to do with me, so make sure you record what she says on your cell phone or any device you can. cause when she gets to Divorce Court she will lie her ass off about you, what you said or did and anything she can, to get more money from you.
Next never ever hit her or call her names or yell at her, if she brings up divorce or during your marriage. If you do, she will use it against you in court and drain your wallet again. Remember the court, no matter is it is Judge or Jury, regards the female as the weaker sex, and weaker personality, don;t be stupid, polite, curious will get ya further.
All women want the men/ husband to pay the following for divorce, court costs, filing costs,child support if children are involved/ and if they get greedy alimony too. Number one protect yourself men, learn how, get great advice from a prior divorcee, or a damn good lawyer. Don’t let her bury you, fight back carefully, and with equal vigor. If you have no income when you go to court, they can’t slam you with high payments. remember that.
My ex took my children, everything we had in a home, before divorce, with the exception of the home, which I ended up paying off later, plus tried to ransack my wallet for child support. I did somethings to stop her, and I know in my heart and mind I did what I could to survive, it all. Not to hurt her or my kids. The point as my divorced parents said, was not to let the better half, run you broke and make you a street person. Yeah I know, you disagree with her, and her with you, you fight over how to raise the kids, who can do what with the kids and when, all of us divorcees on both sides of the equation do so. But men you have options if your smart, or if your too broke like I was.
First, I refused to pay for the divorce period, I stated to her lawyer, I didn’t ask for it, so I am not paying for it. Second she went to court in her home state and filed saying she had no money for divorce, they then tried to bill me for the bill by letter to my parents home address, I said no money, no job, so the state she lived in, footed the price of the divorce and sent me a copy when it was done.
Next, she tried to get me with absorbent child support payment requests, I couldn’t pay, no job did I have. So, I went first to The Veterans administration as a Disabled Veteran and got copies of my Disability Discharge saying, I can not work. so when I went to court in my home state, I could produce them for the Judge and court and get minimum payments from the court, which I did. Now, remember most women will refiled to raise child support if it isn’t enough for them, if they can, in my case she never refiled and was stupid. Sorry but honesty, is the truth in all ways, her mistake.
I can count my best moves as 1) being prepared 2) At the time being out of work and having no income for any support payments. 3) Leaving the State I lived in with her and coming to my home state.
My saddest moves for the divorce were as follows: 1) I left my two children behind, but really had no choice, I couldn’t raise them on the streets of my home town, as I begged for food and lived in a YMCA. 2) I lost contact with my children and they were told stories behind my back, and they were told I walked out on their mother and them, lies. 3) My ex took her abuse and sexual problems to a new level, by convincing my eldest I abused her, lies. So I had court costs their in another state, lost four months of my life in jail due to lies. Women are vengeful as a species I think and my ex was no exception, I had to prove and fight to get out of jail and have a conviction for a crime I did not commit, overturned and thrown out. I did it by never giving up. So, I stayed away from my children and i really don’t know them to this day, for I will never take a chance of living in the same state they do, due to the false accusations and charges. Plus I do not trust either child of mine, due to the whole deal.
So, in the end, my ex-got minimum child support and to keep the two kids, I got my freedom to rebuild, by staying out of courts, period and leaving it be. Do I regret any of it, not anything with the ex of course, but with the kids yes. For in the end, they will never really know how much I loved them, and still do to this day ! Plus I am older now and I can not take the stress of dealing with them, and need to take care of myself. My kids when I talked to them called me a sperm bank donor, told me they hated me, never wanted to hear the truth and tried to use me as ATM Machine just for money. Plus, both are married on their own now with kids and that’s that.
So, if you get told, your wife wants a divorce, make sure you ave no job, file as an indigent, with no income, make sure you have proof you can’t work and get the hell out of the state she is living in. Make sure the Judge knows when you go to court you didn’t ask for the divorce, and you did not wrong, no infidelities, no affairs, and no violence at all. And don’t ever look at a Judge and tell them you won’t pay child support of some kind, they will triple it and bury you if you do, say what I said and say it honestly, I had the pleasure of making them your honor, I will pay what I can. Husbands and Dads, are no money making machines, we suffer thru these divorces too, and the courts need to know and recognize it all.
One more thing men, I know, like me, you love you child or children, but stay off the phone and away from the ex-wife during the divorce and after it too. If ya don’t she will start a vengeful vendetta against you and try to get ya jailed or convicted of some false crime. So, run for cover, don’t ever turn back, and remember, you too have rights in a Divorce Court, but only if you are careful, smart, and resourceful.