Year ending Thoughts and Christmas and more!


      December 24th, 2014 is upon us folks and let me tell you, as you grow older time does fly by. It leaves us Christmas Tomorrow and only a week to 2014 left. Amazingly, I am still alive and kicking and doing my thing, but I do feel old these days, I get aches and pains and lose energy pretty fast. I will be 59 in one month and a day. For a guy who thought for sure he would be dead by forty years old I am still kicking.

 As you get older you begin to savor days, hours and minutes folks and you miss the ones who were in your life and disappeared or died. You begin to look back and think of the past and what it all meant and what is left of your future. You start wondering how much time you have left. In my case I have been one lucky man. I have survived 199 seizures, by being dropped on my head out of a highchair by my older brother. I have survive being ostracized as a kid for having Attention Deficit Disorder and Hyper-Activity, and at the time being unable to control myself. I survived beatings at home and schools and being institutionalized for two years too.

           Survival is what life is all about folks believe me, for the longer you survive the better off you are, we all adapt to the lives we live. I adapted folks, I changed my life by using surrogate parents in the forms of my friends familie. Why, because my home life and family were that bad, I had to to survive. Yelling, beatings, fights, and a lack of paying attention to the children they had were the aspects of my home life, so I escaped to familieswho, live as close to normal lives as they come.

I owe my survival to such families as the Johnsons, the Dudonis’s, The Geers in Naugatuck at the time for thru them I became me. I learned to make my own decisions , to adapt and get along with them all and made friends for life thru them all. So you see, life can change as you move on, and help can be found out there. 

By the time I was in my teens and running the streets free,  I was of High School ages and doing fine, until I noticed girls and they noticed me. It detoured me some for I had never known a real relationship with a female till then. I thank the girls who touched my life in many ways back then, Bettidean, Maria, sisters they were, Mary, Sue, and so many more. The ones who taught me to ice skate and play tennis in the Center, Donna and Marie. The one I first tried to kiss and failed with to the one I kissed first and did it right and learned and surprised by doing so. I grew thru those years and survived threats, being chased by guys twice my size and outwitting them. The first job I had and the way I grew on my own reading and writing on my own. I dropped out of High School folks yes I did, in 1973. went back in 1975 to get my GED and carry on into the service, I served in the U.S. Army, The U.S. Army national Guard and finally the U.S. Navy. I totaled 16 years and became a Disabled veteran. Six discs in my spine herniated, I suffer from PTSD, and much more. Nightmares from childhood and from the service wake me at night, as I try to escape it all by waking and leaping from bed, waking my wife. Yet I continue on. My first wife and I had two daughters who I love like crazy and will forever, their children are now my grandkids i love so much.  My second wife is my savior too, with her I went back to school after the Navy. to Graduate with an Associates Degree in Hotel Management in 1997, I walked away with honors and honor societies and a 3.7 out of a 4.0 average. I found I can do anything I put my mind to like my step-father had told us all those years ago.

Now, I am older at 58 myself about to be 59 soon in January of 2015. I have lived thru the deaths of my parents, my father at 55, my stepfather at 58 and my mom at 59 all from cancer. I sat with the first girl I cared about as she had cancer treatments, and I sat thru my wife during her breast cancer. I then got lung cancer myself folks and survived it too, and went thru lung cancer in 2013 at the veterans hospital and survived. Amazing huh?  Now I must face the mortality of myself and wonder how much longer will I survive. My parents went in their 50’s, my grandmothe ron moms side went at 64, heart attack, Grandpa at 71, my fathers parents in their 60s. so how much longer do I have according to genetics not too long I would say. As I tell my daughters, life seems long to you now when your young, as you age it winds down girls,you too will face the mortality of being human too, so do what is right today, love, laugh, enjoy each day, don’t be overly greedy and don’t hate at all, love is the way to go.

As 2014 comes to an ending soon, I will always have the warm memories of the days of my youth, and friends and first loves and first kisses, I will always look back fondly at friends and times that made me , me and smile. I hope those who shared them times with me can also.On that note, I want to say to all, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and remember always, your life is made up of the memories you have lived through and what you made of them.

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