I am going to call this an Introduction to my life for all. Now please understand this is not a full biography nor is it in anyway meant to let all my life open to the public. It is a general overview and what I say, should be taken in and listened to by the end of it all.
I was born in January of 1956, here in Connecticut months after the great flood, that took out most of the cities streets near the rivers here. My life started hard for I was a big baby boy at ten pounds and nine ounces, my mothers’ second of five children and i was not a normal delivery. they did a cesarean to get me out.
From the day I was born, till nine months old I had seizures, one hundred and ninety nine to be precise. My mother would hold my head under warm running water to stop the seizures as family watched. Then one day at nine months old, my older brother took the tray from my high chair off and I fell head first to the floor and my seizures stopped suddenly. Not the first nine months you would want for your start huh?
By, five years old I was a cast out in KIndergarten, ignored so I acted out for attention and of course got in trouble, and almost was the first kid ever held back in Kindergarten can ya believe it?
From First to Third Grade in Elementary School I never studied a thing or payed attention in School, I was lost in space looking out windows and bored, so, I gave up the classroom to wander the halls of the school. Fun right, wrong I got into so much trouble, and of course failed my first years of school big time.
By the time, third grade ended and fourth grade came about, Iwent to school in September to find I was supposed to repeat third grade, I refused. I would go to school each morning and roam the halls of the school, hiding from teachers and students alike. Then, I was caught one day,and dragged into the Principle’s Office and my parents were called. A meeting took place in that office between, my parents, the Principle and then me. I refused to repeat the grades I had failed and told them so, I told them put me in Fourth Grade and give me three months if i am not passing, you can then put me back, but if I am passing I stay and move on. I win and continued on in Fourth Grade, but, little did I know I would not be back for Fifth Grade of sixth in my school. An event occurred that summer that would take me away from my home for two years, all because I had tired of being teased, prodded and pushed around by my older brother. So, I tossed a rock through a screen door window at him and it shattered all over my baby sister he was holding, and it was my demise, for two years.
I spent the next two years in an Institution a ward of the state because my mother signed me over to them as an Emotionally Disturbed child. There I was taught self-control, but I also learned of drugs, sex,anger, and so much more all behind the gated grounds. I was closely watched for two years and consuled by State Welfare and more. Never once did they really listen to me, about my childhood beatings by my step-father, or my beatings by my mother. Never once did they question my older brother about how he treated me or mistreated me, it was always one thing, self-control. I learned it well believe me! So much so, I never cried, again in my life, for so many years it was crazy for a young boy. I did learn to lose myself in books, comic books, and the woods, and finally in work with my step-father who still beat me now and then in the basement of the home he bought. The grueling work of building a stone wall, rebuilding a home for us to live in, was done in a side by side style with my step-father I had no choice. So I did what I had to, to survive.
In the end by the time I got to HIgh School, I was still an outcast in many ways and fell in with some unsavory kids, it would only last three years for me. I dropped out and had to go to work for a living and pay my parents rent due to dropping out. I paid and paid each week to live at home as I worked and saved money. I joined the Army first to get away from the life I had, but I was too young to handle it at the time and imaturity plays a part, I got lucky when a Sargent recommended me for a Trainee Discharge and I was granted one. I returned to the Military by Joining the National Guard in jy home town. I meet men who were responsible and Veterans who guided me and helped me do well. A few years after that the jobs dried up in my home town, and I made a decision and walked into a Navy Recruiting Office and signed up for the next 12 years of my life, until I was injured in the line of duty. I was growing up the hard way believe me and in a hurry. I got married toa Wave, which is a female sailor and we had two of everything by 1989, two daughters, two dogs, two cars, two televisions a beautiful home till I was discharged under medical conditioning in July of 1989. Divorce would follow and so would tears finally for that marriage and my daughters who would never really know me. But, I spent time walking the streets of my hometown, crying and thinking and trying to put myself back together and it worked.
By the time the divorce came through three years later, I had reassembled myself, found a place to live and a new woman in my life. I went on to jobs and went in and out of them never enjoying any of them, but just doing them good enough to get by. I got in contact with the Veteran’s Administration filed for disability from them and Social Security and won, based on not only physical aliments but mental ones too. I remarried and started over once more.
Now here is my point folks, you can overcome all if you put your mind to it and push through and stick to it. Today, I am married for going on fifteen years, I write short stories, poems and small books and sell them, if i can. I Write this blog and mind my own business, and enjoy peace for once in my life with my wife.
I want all to understand, you can overcome a brutal childhood of being unwanted, chased, and beat upon and survive and make it. I want all to understand, that no matter what, you should always love your child and stand by them, not dumped them. You should never beat, swear, or harm a child, they will rebel and come back at you folks when they get older. Don’t ever raise your child the way i was raised through beatings, punishments, swearings, yelling and so much more to make them feel unwanted, For in the end you will lose them folks, they will walk away and find surrogate families to raise them like i did and still make it, and leave you behind to never hear from them again. Happened with me, happened with my younger brother too, who went more outcast then I did and died ultimately at age 30, in another state under a new name and from an overdose and aids. Don’t do it please to your children, wake up America, it doesn’t matter what race, color, creed, culture or background you are! Make it all worth while and give your children a chance to survive and be happy, not angry and unwanted ok. leave a legacy through your children of goodness, healthy attitudes and good behavior for after you’re gone, they still have to carry on, and the cycle of what you taught them can carry on to all future generations.