As Christmas gets closer and closer this year and I get older and older, I look back at things I wished had been different in my life and in the lives of those i love. I can’t make the world correct or even make up for mistakes or regrets I have, but I can reveal how I feel about them all.
Christmas and The Holiday Season in the house i grew up in as a child was no big deal, a tree went up, parents fought, dishes flew and silverware too. The yelling got louder the guests got fewer until it all disappeared and became a silent night of a different kind. I regret having to live through those holidays, for as kids myself and my siblings never deserved that.
I regret the beatings I was given as a child because I was different from my siblings and had attention deficit disorder and hyper-activity. Wasn’t my fault mom and dad, it was in me, I survived it though. I didn’t ask for parents who mistreated their children but I got em. I didn’t ask for siblings who were never there, no matter what I did for them or asked them to be or do. They disappeared from my life, why I shall never know.
I didn’t ask for things to turn out the way they did, and nor can I accept many of them, but I can deal with them and carry on. Life is far too short, to compound it all with selfish feelings of pity or to condemn someone forever, it doesn’t work folks. I didn’t ask for my military career to end the way it did, due to injury, but it did. I didn’t ask for a divorce but I got one, I didn’t ask to be kept from my daughters for years, but I overcame it and proved my point, now that can rest. I didn’t ask to come home to parents dying of cancer one year and a day apart while I went through my divorce but I got it. I didn’t set my mission in life, the God or being who put me here did, I only struggle through it like everyone else does their own, I am human.
In the end a man or woman, can only do what they have been put upon this earth to do, we do not control the fates, the destinies of our lives a supreme being above us does, and we live till we reach the missions end assigned to us. But along the way, people touch our souls, our hearts, our lives and make us wish we could include them or have them with us always. The ones I say this about know who they are and what I mean, so as I finish today’s blog, I want all to stop and think of all you lived through bad or good and the people you knew or know today and say Thank You out loud to yourself and the world. For you are blessed to be alive, to have a chance to meet so many and have families like we do each day. Say thank you to you families, your wife, your husband, your children your parents and siblings for without them life may not have a mission for you to be here! God Bless All, and May Your Holidays be filled with Joy, Caring, Sharing, Laughter and Smiles. May your regrets be less than mine and may Christmas bring you Peace for All Time!