Thirteen days till pre-op for more surgery which will take place on September 3rd. Makes me stop and think of those gone before me from the same disease. I don’t remember my grandfather too well but he loved kids his own and his grandchildren. But Pancreatic Cancer got him at age 70, and he went quietly in a Nursing home. God Bless him really, for he was a kind man, at least to us kids.
Following his lost, life moved along at a high rate of speed as I grew older and lived life myself. Then, I decided in the 1970s to find my real father, a man my mother called a grease monkey, a bum, a penny pitching fool. She told me he was no good for nothing and never would amount to anything. Well a woman scorned or divorced is all vindictive towards the ones who leave or they dump, for many reasons. I had to find him I thought for how do you go on in life without knowing your past, so I did. I found him in the little town he grew up in, Teaneck, NJ. Seems the penny pitching bum went on to have a second family with another woman and had 7 more children. And when I met him he was a gentleman, to me and polite as hell. We talked about life, his, mine, my mothers and the way I grew up too. I met him twice was all, but the man, was not what mom said he was, he was a decent guy. He died on Thanksgiving Day 1984, I went to the wake in Bogota, NJ and sat with his sister, but cancer had struck the second time, lung cancer this time.
Six years later, my wife asked for a divorce and told me to get out that day, so I did. I packed up everything I could in an old Chevy Nova and left, her in Pittsburgh, Pa with my two baby girls. I came home to my parents home, because I had no where else to turn, to find my step-father dying of cancer also. Lung cancer had the man I called Dad all my life and he was thin as a rail and going. Ten months later, Abraham died, it was October of 1990. In the meantime came more bad news.
Mom had cancer too same lung cancer, she found out June 1990 and told us not to tell Abraham. Of course we didn’t for she knew best in this case. One year and one day after Abraham his wife followed him to the grave, cause of death Cancer , lung cancer exactly. Add it up folks thats one Pancreatic and three lung cancer, my odds were never good were they?
In the meantime, my second wife gets breast cancer as I sit by her and take her through it all. Diagnosis, surgery, followed by chemo and radiation I sat there and kept her company as she suffered. I cut her hair off her head at her request when it fell out, and now it is 7 years later, she is a survivor and I love her dearly and always will.
August 2nd, 2013, my doctor had set me up for a screening cat scan, because of my family history of Cancer. The end result came the following MOnday morning when she called to tell me they had found shadows in my lungs. No specifics mind you nor did she mention cancer but I knew inside what it was. she set me up for a Pulmonary Clinic visit with a specialist. So I went and took the breathing tests and saw the Doctor, it was and is still cancer of the lungs, this time mine! Now I face it head on and will battle what all before me have and I have no idea of the results, but the battle will go on as long as I can fight it.
So, the 23rd of August 2013 starts that fight with pre op tests, and procedures including seeing the Anesthesiologist, blood draw, and a visit to a Cardiac Clinic to make sure I can take surgery on September 3rd, to remove the middle lobe of my right lung. The tumor is local is what I am told and if the lobe goes so should the cancer, all I can do is keep a positive attitude and go forward with it all.
So in each family, grandparents and parents leave behind a hand me down present for their children and future generations, in my case it is cancer, so I shall fight on and see if I can conquer it all. If I don’t at least I will put up one hell of a fight!
For today I leave you with a story I wrote it’s called;
My Maria—- http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CS3BTOS
The story of my first real love !
Enjoy folks and Thanks again for reading my blogs and stories and poems and rants !