Hump Day has arrived and it is August 7th 2013 and yes I am still here folks! Yet, I know I have cancer, I can feel it in my lungs, I can feel it when I breathe , and I have seen it on cat scans and pet scans. I am not ready to give up though why would I am only 57.
I do know I go for preoperative stuff on August 23rd, Which includes, blood work, anesthesiologist, and more and it is closing in pretty fast. Then on September 3rd, they go in and remove the middle lobe of my right lung and see what kind and what stage it is, lucky me huh?
I know also, I have many women worried over my condition, my wife, my sister,my daughters, my grandchildren and more, wondering if I can survive it all. I also know I have no way of predicting if I will survive it. Sadly, the percentage rates for lung cancer victim my age of 57 are not very good. So I shall have to prepare once the operation is over, for those i may leave behind to have something.
Mortality is something we don’t like of growing up, till our own parents die or we are facing it. I didn’t for decades thats for sure, I ran, I jumped, I dared and I shared, never once thinking of when this time would come., So, as I face the same disease that took my grandfather, my father, my step-father and my mother, and threatened both of my wives at one time or another, I wonder how much will power and inner strength do I really have?
If I do go, I know there are some people who need to know I love them dearly and always will till eternity, whether I am here or gone. I am sure my wife and sister both know what they mean to me and that I will miss them as much as they shall miss me when I am gone.
My two daughters I shall love forever and ever no matter where I may be and always have no matter what was done to me or them. I hold no grudges or anger toward either of them and never did or could.
My grandkids whom I love dearly, Kayla, Alyssa, Chase, Ethan, the innocents and the next generation. I pray you will have a better life than I, or your parents had and that when you grow up, you will have a flicker of a memory of a grandfather who loved ya. I hope to be here longer but no one knows yet!
The old friends I grew up with, know who they are and what we did together. I hope there will be good memories for them also, for time may be short for me.
In the end it is not what you get, it’s what you give that makes life special, for once your know your going, those are the things you will look back on. Memories of good times, laughter, time spent together. God Bless!