In the past I have written blogs that dealt with politics, candidates and elections, lack of service or care from some companies in the market place, and of course my stories and poems I have written over the years.
Most of my stories and poems are based on real life issues and events that happened to me or around me and helped form who I am as an adult. many of them, if people could understand will not leave my mind or unconsciousness untill the day I am dead and then buried, or in my case cremated as I want to be, by the U.S. Navy. The critical thing for many to know when you read my stuff is my family is a family that was divided from the day I was born and still is mostly today. Most of this division has to do with the treatment we received from two people in our lives, the primary parents we grew up with. Notice I did not say the real parents but the ones who were primary in bringing us up and raising us. Their differences and beliefs and styles left much lacking when raising children and almost destroyed all five of us all children and adults. Again notice I said almost because a few of us made it through damaged of course but still we survived and made it to adulthood on our own.
Some women should never be mothers, because they have no mothering instinct at all. And they are too busy with themselves to be any good to children they have and they have no way of really showing love. Such was my mother’s ways, and unless you know her childhood or why you would have never guessed it unless you listened to the men she married. I did that and much more over the years even after she died and found facts none of her five children knew for the way she was.
But those facts are for another time and place and story. The truth is some women are born not to be mothers period and that’s a sad fact, in my mother’s case I honestly believe that one. There were five of us, four boys and one girl and in America‘s society today, not a one of us really fit anymore, nor ever did.
The eldest grew up estranged not only from his primary family because he hated his step-father in more ways than one and for more reasons than one, but because he was lost and still is today at 60 years old. All because of lies told by one woman his mother, sad isn’t it. Than we have me, I was a fighter in my own way a rebel without a cause as a child, because I knew the man who was raising me was not my father, and wanted to see my father at least once. Mom of course refused hiding his location, his idenity and location period. I found his picture in a photo album in her closet she never got rid of it period.
So there were more than two men in my mother’s life over the years and that has become very clear over the 21 years since her death and cremation. It seems my mother had three men within the years 1953 to 1957, and had children by each one. The eldest belongs to an italian truck driver out of New York, she never saw again, me I belong to a man out of New Jersey who married her and gave her unnamed child his name and had me by her. By the time I wa nine months old there was a change again and my father was gone and along came number three. who she married had three kids by and ultimately stayed with the longest, decades.
In the end we had five of us as siblings growing up under one roof and the two eldest always questioning who they were till they found out decades later . So, for a subject today I tell this to the world and mothers and fathers everywhere.
To the Mothers out there having children make sure you tell and show your children who their father really is, identity loss or not knowing can kill someone.
To those who Father children and then run away or are pushed away due to circumstances, make a stand, demand to see your children, demand to be a part of their lives, and let them know you and your family history. Don’t run because the mother is emotional and upset and acting crazy, hang in there ride it out for your child and give them the identity they need to make it in life. Be a factor men, don’t dump the child you made because you don’t want them, they will not always make it to be normal or a healthy part of society without you.