Surviving Being Unwanted!


      All my life I spent as a boy and a man I believed I was the most forgetable man in the world. I always had low self-esteem and gave up on things and people far before anyone else would. I suppose it doesn’t help to grow up with a mother who always told you, you were no good, you were rotten, you were like the father she divorced from, lazy and greasy and no good!  I suppose mothers as well as fathers, don’t realize the damage their words can do, or the lack of love, caring and hugs and kisses can do to a child. The question for most children who suffer mental and physical abuse in their parental home is really how do you over come it all and make life work for you? The answer my friends, is blowing in the wind, yes the answer is blowing in the wind, a Stevie Wonder classic song right? But oh so true when you stop to think about it and let things blow by or roll off your back. Stevie had it right in his song, for the answer is blowing in the wind!

      When your young and a parent doesn’t want you around or can’t handle you because you’re a rebel and you can’t get along with students in school or in the neighborhood, well you feel lost and alone. How do you over come it all, surrogate families and parents and then friends is how ! I did it as did millions of other kids world-wide I am sure, especially in America. I adopted families of friends I met as my own, let their parents advise me and listened to them speak to their own kids. I learned from friends, surrogate parents and lovers in the end that life is not all your main family that may not want you, it’s a world of people who may need and want you for different reasons.

        The hardest thing for any child is to grow up feeling unwanted, unloved or uncared for, and then to find out and go through your own family trying to give you away to others. I lived it all and I know how I over came it, but others may not have had the attitude, drive or desire to do what I did and make it work, yet they should if they want a life full of promise, hope and believing in themselves. If they want ever to feel wanted,  needed and loved because their own parents don’t really want them, they need to know they can reach out to others.

       Some parents are not made with motherly instincts or fatherly instincts, they never get it and have no idea how to raise a child or care for them. Such was my base family, a family of a mother who babbied one child her first and forgot the other four she had, never extending kisses and hugs except for one. Or the father you grow up with who comes home at night from work to hear his wife complaining of her kids who she thinks are asleep upstairs and makes her husband go up and drag them out of bed and straighten them out one by one. Yes we lived in terror of our father coming upstairs to get us each night, we lived in fear of his anger, the beatings and the boards, pipes and more. Yet I found a way out of it all !. Surrogate Parents and families and being away from home and hiding as much as humanly possible, it worked for me, until I had to make the decisions that shaped my own life further. Yeah I didn’t always have a warm guiding parents to help me so I made mistakes, but I survived and so can you!

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