I remember a Doctor told me when I was just discharged from the military, where I served for 16 years, I would need to find something to let my inner feelings out and make it worth my while. I played with woodworking, model building, puzzles, even reading. In the end the one thing which helped me with my disabilities and my PTSD, was writing. To express myself in words on paper or on a computer and then release it to the world to read, helped me deal with my nightmares, from the Service and childhood. We all deal with life’s bad moments in a different way, some of us let it loose in displays of screaming, some in physical violence, some in other ways, but when you know the anger and feelings you carry can hurt either yourself or someone else you love, you find a way to let it out easier and slower.
PTSD contains memories of violence, anger, beatings, pain and yes even deaths of others. The human mind builds its own defense mechanisms, and the person experiencing it all doesn’t understand why it is happening, or how, it just does to them. Fighting nightmares of bad dreams of events of your past, can get you in the end.
So, my way of dealing with the beatings as a child the incidents of action and destruction in the Services and the nightmares of life, is to write some out on paper or computer and then let the world read about and understand it all. Some victims of PTSD, deal with this in many different ways as I said, and they each have their own stories to tell I am sure.
Dealing with experiences from one’s past is the hardest thing in the world to do, they tend to flash back into your mind triggered by events in current times, or people you react to because of the past. Then you react to the situation or person unconsciously and the result can be hurting someone you had no intention of hurting at all or yourself. It also can lead you into depression, opening another dimension of pain and suffering because you blame yourself for what happens or happened and you start to put yourself down. The two link and when they do, can lead to a bad cocktail of mind problems that can kill the patient or those around them. Careful Medication helps and a relief for the pressure and feeling into words on a computer or on paper does it for me.
No I am not a Doctor, but I am a patient, one who suffers from PTSD, flashbacks and nightmares. One who when he does, gets away from all and finds a peaceful place to relax and to calm the mind down.
So to my fellow ex-service members and those suffering today from PTSD, get counselling, get medication, find a way to tell others your stories, your feeling and relieve the pressure in your minds and souls in someway. Write the nightmares down, and let others see them, don’t blame yourself for actions beyond your control at the time they happened. relieve the pressure by writing, reading, puzzles, medication or more, and live in peace once more if you can.