The days slowly tick by in life folks, which leads to years going by so fast your suddenly old and wondering how long you have left to live. Ever been there, I know I have and am still, each day is a wake up and wonder day for me. I wonder what I am still doing here, what my purpose is in my life currently, then I stop and remember my wife next to me in bed. 25 years we have together, and each day I still look at her sleeping when I wake up and stare and hope she is breathing still, before I leave the room. to start my day.
That’s how I start each day folks, my wife is a breast cancer victim whose cancer has spread to her bones, that was diagnosed in January or 2018. I know what the prognosis is yet he is a fighter and still with me and all I can do is take care of her each day the best I can. The prognosis according to all Doctors I have talked to is two to five years for a person with bone cancer, so each day, I try to remember time is growing short.
I do the dishes daily, cook daily, clean when needed as we go, I do the shopping and fix what ever breaks in the home we live in. She calls I come running worried about her each day, she goes to the bathroom and is in there too long I call for her to answer to be sure she is ok. Otherwise I will take the door down if I have to, to get to her. She is the love of my life for many reasons, but most of all because she is everything to me.
Living with a person who has cancer, is not as easy as many believe it to be, the medication cost alone can kill you. Prescriptions like what my wife takes cost 75,000 dollars a year folks and they are experimental to fight the cancer. Lucky us, we have a grant issued in her name and they cover those costs. The side effects are slim and livable to keep her going, other medications cost also, because she needs them for blood pressure, heart, and more. Thousands fly out the door each month and year, but I never complain, I would give my life for hers if I could.
We are closing in on her second anniversary, of her bone cancer diagnosis ,and she is still doing pretty well, but for how long well I am not sure and neither is she or her Doctors. We know the two to five year window is narrowing, at least I do, each day, when she gets up, I silently thank the gods.
Preparations had to be made, so we have discussed her wants for herself, he last wishes. We have a plot for her now next to her long lost son and I will join her next to her when I die too.The Living Trust is now in effect that will cover her death, cremation and burial. Thank God we did that much, thinking of others, like grandkids once we are gone was vital for us both. The House and property are paid off, no car bills exist and it’s the daily cost of living and surviving the is left for us. Each day I wait and wonder will she get up out of bed or not, but that is the life I live now, she is my wife and my life.
Cancer has been with me now in one form or another since I was young. My grandfather died of it first, then a girlfriend had it and survived many, many years, Then it hit my Father who died of it in 84, then my step-father in 90 and mom in 91. It didn’t stop folks it started on my wife in 2006, as breast cancer. And then it got a lobe and one third of my right lung too, but I am still here and doing ok. I just hope some people will give and Help The American Cancer Society and other organizations that are looking for cures find them. Give to The American Cancer Foundation folks, it helps, lets find a way to beat Cancer Please!.
Virtual reality is the coming trend in Personal Computers, and Gaming systems, but some things need to be pointed out to possible buyers.
1) The high price of the headsets and computers is just crazy. I bought a HP Omen DeskTop, that does Virtual Reality if you get the headset, it cost me 1,500 dollars. I contains 16 gigs of ram a I-7 Intel Chip, a Nvidia Graphics card with 8 gigs of ram on it, and a SSD Drive 256, and a one TB Hard drive. While the desktop is fast and a good one, there are even higher models out there made by numerous companies. The prices are high as hell folks.
2) Virtual reality Headsets for Personal Computers, run from 299.99 to 599.95 dollars a shot. Now before you rush out and buy them some advice for you all. A) If you have motion sickness in a car, place, train don’t buy a headset, you can get motion sickness with them. B) The prices are crazy and the companies making them need to bring them down to sell them. HTC and Oculus Rift are the top models out, but they are 399.99. 499.99 and up for purchase.C) it is early in the Virtual Reality world folks, few programs for games will exist at this stage, and you can check for yourself online.
3) I would wait a year or two myself, for anything anew technology comes out like Virtual Reality is now, it is always higher priced. They do come down over time if the companies that produce them don’t sell enough of them and the competition gets greater by other creators and designers. new technology or just introduced to the market tech, always costs more at first, that is not a virtual reality it is just a fact.
Each day I wake up since January 2016, and turn on the news all I see is controversy involving Trump why is that? It is simple he doesn’t think before he talks and he is dangerous because of it. He attacks women, ignores disasters, and hurricane victims that are American Citizens in Puerto Rico, threatens to take their FEMA support away saying he has invested too much in the island, but he invested four times as much in Texas and three times as much in Florida and never threatened them. Doesn’t he understand he is supposed to be the leader of this country, not the asshole of it?
He bad mouths women left and right, makes sexist remarks daily, and attacks women. He inappropriately touches women and then says he can do it because he is famous and has money, tell that to Harvey Weinstein, Trump and watch where he goes when he is locked up, like you should be too.
Trump made promises to bring back jobs from overseas and he has failed. None are returning anytime soon. He said he was the great negotiator, he failed too here. he can’t negotiate with business, his own party in The Congress both houses, or other nations.
He pulls us out of agreements and destroys America’s reputation every time we turn around other nations are laughing at us. Iran and North Korea, laugh at his idle threats and know if he attacks them in anyway, America will pay politically and morally and lose men and women in battles we should never fight. As to the Nukes he knows damn well if he launches one first the world is done if he doesn’t then the man is an ass. The North Korean Leader is laughing at Trump and knows all of the above too as does the Iranian leaders, they know Trump talks shit and doesn’t mean it. Yet Trump persists in trying to piss them both off, for what purpose who the hell knows, no one can understand a mad man’s mind can they?
He insults Veterans and one of the biggest heroes in American History John McCain and gets away with it? Sad indeed. he tries to cut Medicare and Medicaid and Social Security and people go oh that’s ok, I think not! Leave it alone Trump your an asshole and rich and even if you don’t need it the average american who makes 20 grand or less a year does, and there are plenty of us out here. Leave Obamacare alone also fix it and let’s move on, stop messing with things you have no understanding of.
He attacks former Presidents who did more in one term then he could do in his entire life, why because he is inferior and stupid and incapable himself of building his own legacy, he has to try and tear down theirs. He is a sad excuse for a person never mind a President. Let’s destroy all Obama did, why, because Obama was mean to me and I don’t like him, what an asshole Trump is. You have a beef with your predecessor Trump call him up and talk to him face to face like a man, and take him on in person stop using innocent americans as your weapon to get even.
There will never be a wall built between America and Mexico or Canada either. No need for one first place, drug cartels or not, americans fight back. Hasn’t been one for well over 200 years now, so why build it now, because you made a stupid promise that you can never fulfill? You want a wall Trump, pay for it yourself out of your so called billios you have in your pocket! That’s my response to you on that matter!
You are a fool Trump, you do not call the survivors of a military person and tell them, “He Knew What he Was Getting Himself into when he joined!” The family is correct and so is the Congresswoman, not you. I don’t care what your Chief Of Staff the former 4 Star General told you for advice, you should have had more common sense than that. These men and women who serve in the military today volunteer, they do it because they want to and their families know it too, but that’s not how you show compassion, caring and understanding to them for a soldier, sailor, marine’s death. Your cruel, idiotic, unempathic response hurt the family, his widow and the country, you embarrassed yourself and the country. General Kelly was correct you should have stayed the hell away from the Gold Star Families and just stayed quiet, they don’t need a letter or call from you, they don’t want one either. They know they lost their son or daughter and they will grieve in peace if you just leave them alone.
Talking about The Chief Of Staff General Kelly, why did you feel it necessary to delve into his personal life and expose his raw feelings about his son’s death to the american public? You had no damn business doing so, some matters are personal and the death of a son or daughter is one of those things for sure. You made a proud, man, come forward and have to try to explain your selfish and stupid actions, He has enough pain and suffering of his own, you owe him an apology. If I were General Kelly I would have walked out on you for the lack of consideration you showed. General is a strong man yes, and he is staying for now, but he knows what I am saying is true. If I were him I would have resigned and told you go get impeached or removed from office on your own.
I wish just once Trump you would wake up one day and realize the whole world is not in TrumpVille and your little game board to do as you wish with! Wake the Hell up !
Fighting Cancer became on issue with me way back in the 1970s when a female friend of mine was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I sat with her at Saint Mary’s Hospital in Waterbury, Connecticut and watched her go for scans, to see her oncologist and to get her prescriptions to stay alive. She came down with it at 18 years old and she fought and fought it, bravely, always with a smile, a laugh and a caring attitude toward others, never once, could she be meanin my opinion. Earlier this year she lost her battle at 63 years old and I saw it in the newspaper and on the internet and I was saddened by her death. She was brave and heroic in her fight and she fought a long battle and she was the first girl I ever kissed, god bless her.
Cancer has chased me all my life in one way or another. First it took my grandfather, my mother’s father, pancreatic cancer. he died in a Nursing home in Waterbury, Connecticut’s north end in 1971. Then next it would come back to visit my life again in my female friend, and it kept coming folks. It took my real father in 1984, lung cancer. Then it returned in 1990 when I came home from my time in service to kill my step-father the man who raised me, prostate cancer. The following year it came back again to take my mother with lung cancer one year and one day after her husband died.
Cancer it seems was never far from me, for it would raise it’s ugly head in 2006 when my second wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. Treatment, chemo and radiation as I sat their helpless, I would talk to her and read to her. She is surviving today still, yet, she still has cancer it has moved into her bones and she survives due to experimental drugs, they gave her a grant for.
In 2013, I went for a checkup with my veterans doctor in West Haven Connecticut. They were running a program checking Veterans for family history of cancer. Since I told her of the above, she ran me thru the program. I have a Cat Scan and MRi and then a Pet Scan. A week later the call came, I had lung cancer in my right lung. An appointment was made for me to see a specialist at the Veterans hospital, and one month from the day of it being reported to me, the Surgeon took one an done third of my right lung. I am still kicking of course and cancer still is in my life, through my wife’s condition and my own. Mine is dormant now thanks to the removal of all of it, by that surgeon, and my Primary Care Provider at the Veteran’s Hospital.
I tell you all this because, I want you all to Give to The American Cancer Society and other Cancer fighting Organization, because they do save lives, like mine and those of the people I have loved and still do love live longer due to their work. Cancer is a killer folks, and it will take many lives each and every day, unless we fight it and they find the cure. Help, all who live with cancer, help their families, their children survive, GIVE TO THE AMERICAN CANCER SOCIETY !
THis is a little book I wrote, I sell for a whole .99 cents, it tells the tale of my wife’s battle and mine by her side against this deadly disease. If you have a buck folks give it a try for a fight against Cancer and spread the story.
Writing is a process that to work must come from an emotional core and personal core at least for me. For some it is grabbing an idea and expanding on it, for me it has to be connected to a real life experience to work. Even the poems I do have a basis and connection to real life experiences I lived through. Very Seldom will I get an idea that doesn’t connect to my real life, in the case of The Scepter and Throne Mystery, I did just that took something I had an idea on, and turned it into a story that went full blown, even if it is short. I took a historic perspective and reading about the Lakota Indians and combined it with an idea of mystical stuff and poof there it is a little book. The American Indians folks don’t get much press or notice in case you don’t notice, but without them this nation would not exist and we need to acknowledge that.
My Authors Page online contains my short stories of all kinds, and poems, so here I will give ya a link to the Author’s Page of mine:
just copy and paste the link in your browser to get there!
Try my Little Book about my wife’s fight with Breast cancer turned to Bone cancer!
Recently it was revealed on television news stations including CNN, that the Russians paid Twitter, FaceBook, Google and other online services for ads that affected the 2016 U.S. Presidential Election. We all know it now to be fact and that the russians paid and directed these ad campaigns from russia, supposedly. But that leads me to the ultimate question in all the collusion accusations and charges that are out there now. How did the Russians know what States, Cities, Towns and districts to target, in American States and areas to effectively control the election in Trumps favor? Hmmm … interesting question isn’t it folks?
Here is my thoughts on all of the collusion charges and accusations and the Trump Administration and team can deny all they want, but facts are facts. Trump went to Russia numerous times and visited with Russian big money men and met Putin even though he denies it. He and the russians got together to make him President during those trips and his son Donald Jr., Manafort and others sent messages by text, cell phone calls or the internet directing the russians on where to target the ads they were paying for. How else did the Russians know what districts, cities, towns and states to target to change the electoral votes they did? Trump is a paid and kept secret of the Russian Government and should be removed from office in my opinion and I have a right to my opinion in America and to state it also publically.This man is the worst American President in my lifetime, and i was born in 1956 under Eisenhower. I have never see a President with no, empathy, no skills at negotiations with business or other countries. The great negotiator my ass he sucks, he couldn’t negotiate his way out of a damn paper bag, he’s a phoney.
No Wall will ever be built between the US and Mexico because one has never really been needed. Yeah they have drugs problems and they do cross our borders with them, but we have always been able to police and control it for over 200 damn years. If he wants a wall let him pay for it out of the billions he claims to have all the time, and we know that number is puffed up too.
He said I will bring jobs back to America, nope not happening, he lied and can’t do what he says period, we all know it ,not 10 months into his presidency. He can’t even pass a law or write a bill that he can get through his own Senate and House ruled and controlled by his own party! Sad!
His Immigration laws or Executive orders are unlawful and prejudiced and discriminating so the Courts block him in all of them. Number three just fell to a Judge this week, but he doesn’t get the hint he can’t do what he wants in the way he wants. He is stupid and stubborn.
He has no empathy for Hurricane Victims in Puerto Rico, and treats them different than the ones in Texas and Florida. Sad, isn’t it, they are Americans who fought this country too and pure Americans. He is one sad piece of crap, faking his way through the Presidency and should be removed. he lies to the American People daily and then says I didn’t lie, more lies, it’s all he knows how to do.
The 25th Amendment was written just for the purpose of removing such an incompetent and idiotic man from the Office of The Presidency. It should be used and fully executed by The Senate and House and the Vice President, if it isn’t used we are close to the brink of nuclear war now as it is. He has angered Iran, and the world in so many ways, the Iranians are now going to make Nukes just like the North Koreans. He has isolated the United States from the world stage, by pulling out of agreements with other nations we should still be in. It’s sad, this man fails in all areas to represent the country properly and fully, and he has absolutely no empathy, and he is narcissistic and dangerous. he definitely should be removed from office before he leads America into a World War that will leave us decimated and destroy the planet we live on. He is a sad excuse for a human being and a man, for he mistreats, and abuses and sexually harrasses women left and right and gets away with it and brags on doing it too. Sad, Indeed. Those who voted for Trump should hide their faces in shame and humiliation for voting for him.